Dear the homeless douchebag who insists on calling MY sidewalk, HIS home,

Thanks for shitting everywhere and moving in all that classy box furniture and broken bicycle parts. Yeah, I really love what you've done with the place. I especially love it when you say Good Morning, like you're the happiest homeless guy on the planet. But you don't fool me; I know you're still drunk from the night before. And now I've had enough! You smell like a sewer, you litter trash everywhere and you shit where I can see it. So, that pretty much makes you a douchebag. I know you're homeless, but you gotta find another sidewalk.

-Kristy K.