Thursday, September 28, 2006

Dear Toilet Seat Name Carvers,


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Originally uploaded by Giulia1.
I wasted two hours of my life at a bar on the Sunset Strip a few years ago. It was the one with the mechanical bullriding, that had the drunk chicks on it, with big, sloppy titties wearing tank tops meant for eight year olds on them. You know, the girls that act surprised when their big, sloppy titties fall out of their tiny shirts.

Anyways, after watching these lovely ladies for an hour and 55 minutes, I had to urinate. I looked down at the toilet seat and noticed you and your vandal buddies had left your initials or tag names on the seat of the toilet. The tags weren’t in markers, in fact the artist had CARVED his note, with a KNIFE, into the shitty, piss drenched TOILET SEAT.

I don’t dislike you, I just think you are a douchebag. Just knowing you probably spent a good twenty-five minutes, snickering to yourself, as you knelt in pee, with your face inches from ass remnants and abandoned pubic lice makes me hate you. Are you really that big of a loser, cos’ it wasn’t that cool? I bet when you were doing this you had an accomplice who stood watch at thedoor, “Yo D-RIZZZAA, hurry up man!” All the while, there were big, sloppy titties flying around all over the bar out there. Know your priorities toilet seat carving douchebag!

D-MAC

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