Monday, October 16, 2006

Dear one-legged chick on Amazing Race,

First off, why do you go out with such a douchebag, and what in god's name compelled you to go on national television with him? That's not why I'm writing though. Here's why: Why must you keep reminding us you have one leg? WE KNOW! It's real obvious. I love you dearly and commend your bravery, however, slipping the one-legged attribute/weakness into one out of every three sentences or statements is a tad excessive, and is also a prime example of stating the obvious. YOUR LEFT LEG IS ROBOTRONIC!

I understand the concept of overcoming hardships and weaknesses. And I feel as though if your weakness or handicap is great, then, yeah maybe it merits more attention then say a head cold or I dunno ADHD.
The reason I am sensitive to this, is that you are a TV star now. Any other TV stars with obstacles to overcome did not, announce them every third word. For example. When Gary Colemans' character "Arnold" on Different Strokes was ever confronted with a conflict, he never turned to the camera and said, "I am a short, black midget with freakishly child-like features, and I may have some trouble here with this up and coming conflict." When Corky had to do math homework on "Life Goes On", he never had the opportunity to do an inner monologue to the affect of, "Math is hard for me because I'm retarded." (The same could be said for anyone who ever appeared on "Taradise" or that younger Carter brother.)

My advice Sarah. The next time someone tries to make you climb up a wall with a faulty, fake leg, either tell the producers to go fuck themselves for making a one-legged girl climb up a wall, or strap that thing on, keep your mouth shut, and hop to it bitch!

Love,
Dangerous D the Destroyer

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