Dear Trash Man,

Well just fuck you for not taking the bureau the I threw out. What am I supposed to do with it now? I hauled it outside on Monday and waited all week, since Monday was a holiday and trash day was a day late. Today I go out to get the mail, and the rest of the trash is gone, but that piece of shit bureau is still there.

People in this shitty town throw out couches and tables and bureaus all the time, and you always take them. What's wrong with my bureau? Too nice for you? God damn you for judging my trash as too good for you. It's trash. So take it. That's your job, you uppity trash man.

Love,
Maria