Dear Department Head Douchebag,
This morning I saw a job posting on Mediabistro for a position at your organization and I knew I would be perfect for. My skills impeccably matched what the company was looking for and the place sounded like somewhere I would totally fit it.
The problem was that I had to send my cover letter and resume to a generic Human Resources email. There was no name to address the letter to - just a plain anonymous email address. And we all know what that means. My cover letter and resume were going to go unnoticed and mostly likely unread with no acknowledgement whatsoever that it was even received.
So, I decided I would go one step above to get my resume noticed. I do some extra work and research to find the name of the person who is in charge of the department this job would be in. And that is exactly what I do.
I find your information.
But before I even email you, I follow the rules of the job posting to a tee and send my cover letter and resume along with my salary requirements to the generic HR email address.
Then I contact you. I mention that I know I was supposed to send my resume to HR and explain that I already did. I followed the job posting rules to the letter. But, I add I did research to find your name and email, so I could send my information directly to you. To get a leg up on the competition. To stand out from the pack. To rise to the top. To show I am perfect for the job.
My email is eloquent, to the point and quite frankly, pretty kiss ass. I’m convinced you will read it, know why I did what I did and perhaps get on the horn to call me in for an interview.
But, how wrong I was.
About 5 minutes late I receive an email from you. I am excited to open it. Could you be getting back to me so quickly about my resume? Was I that convincing? I sit for a moment and when I can’t take it anymore, I click on your email.
It simply reads, “send to HR as noted in job posting.”
I stare at in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding,” I mutter to myself.
You couldn’t even have the decency to read the first fuckin’ sentence of my email, could you?
Douchebag.
Yours truly,
Qraig
The problem was that I had to send my cover letter and resume to a generic Human Resources email. There was no name to address the letter to - just a plain anonymous email address. And we all know what that means. My cover letter and resume were going to go unnoticed and mostly likely unread with no acknowledgement whatsoever that it was even received.
So, I decided I would go one step above to get my resume noticed. I do some extra work and research to find the name of the person who is in charge of the department this job would be in. And that is exactly what I do.
I find your information.
But before I even email you, I follow the rules of the job posting to a tee and send my cover letter and resume along with my salary requirements to the generic HR email address.
Then I contact you. I mention that I know I was supposed to send my resume to HR and explain that I already did. I followed the job posting rules to the letter. But, I add I did research to find your name and email, so I could send my information directly to you. To get a leg up on the competition. To stand out from the pack. To rise to the top. To show I am perfect for the job.
My email is eloquent, to the point and quite frankly, pretty kiss ass. I’m convinced you will read it, know why I did what I did and perhaps get on the horn to call me in for an interview.
But, how wrong I was.
About 5 minutes late I receive an email from you. I am excited to open it. Could you be getting back to me so quickly about my resume? Was I that convincing? I sit for a moment and when I can’t take it anymore, I click on your email.
It simply reads, “send to HR as noted in job posting.”
I stare at in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding,” I mutter to myself.
You couldn’t even have the decency to read the first fuckin’ sentence of my email, could you?
Douchebag.
Yours truly,
Qraig
posted by Giulia @ 1:59 PM
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