Dear God,

Listen Lord. If you are going to continue to talk to a mortal here on earth, I would urge you to consider someone other than Pat Robertson.....please!!!! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he has kind of a big mouth. I’m sure when you told him about the impending doom due at the end of 2007 that it was something you told him in deepest confidence. Well…guess what? He told EVERYONE!

Now a lot of people who listen to Pat Robertson are really nervous. My feeling is, if you were to share you feelings or thoughts, please tell someone who doesn’t have the common sense of a 16 year old gossip queen. (Also I may add, you should totally hate him now and feel free to tell everyone what Pat did with the football team after the pep rally last Friday behind the gym mats, he's a total slut!)

Also, while you are at it, make McDonald’s food healthy and go ahead and give me just a little more penal girth.

Amen,

Dennis