Dear JD Smith from Delta Airlines,

I don’t think you got the gist of what I was asking you to do for me on the phone today. When I asked if I could move my wife’s seat next to mine for our flight, I did not expect you to respond with, “Is there anything else we can help you with today?”

You were very, very, passive aggressive to me, which isn’t cool. I shrugged it off though, thinking that maybe the reason you asked me such a strange question at such an impromtu point was because of the phone connection. You should talk to your tech guys, because you sounded like you were 10,000 plus miles away or something. Like maybe you’re in India or Malaysia. Really weird.

Anyway, the real reason I think you are a douchebag is because I still havent’ gotten my wife’s seat situation sorted out. After ten minutes you were still unable to locate my flight, even with my locator number. Remember, you even repeated commonly used words with the first initial of each word to make sure you had it right, “Charlie-Lima-Elephant-Ostrich-Xylophone-Tennis and Diphthrxanknpolhsdlikfiol”

When you still couldn’t “locate” my flight reservation, you decided to pawn me off on your supervisor “Betty Marge Johnson”. Bettys’ English, although only half as broken as yours, was not too Betty-ish. I can only hope I’m not seated in the luggage compartment.

Quit towing the company line “JD Smith”. You’re a real corporate douchebag.

Love,
D

PS You’re still not as big a douchebag as Bill O”Reilly.