Dear Cinema-goer who sat next to me at the "Hannibal Rising" premiere the other night,

Thank you for making a mediocre film experience tortuous by constantly sucking air (or saliva - I'm not sure) through your teeth. What I thought was just an initial "tst tst" response to some pretty gorey visuals on screen turned out to be a non stop suckfest for the duration of the movie. I thought maybe then you had a tic, an involuntary nervous habit as the sucking sound seemed to escalate during more frenzied and violent parts of the movie (of which there were many). So I tried to exhihit some retraint and practice patience sensing this could be without your control. However as the night wore on and the sound grated on my ears and pulled my focus from the juiciest parts of Hannibals early years, I found myself wanting to slap you and wishing that if indeed you had some condition of oversalivation or tension tic, you would sit the hell away from me. I know this is harsh but the cinema was not full and seeing as you yourself complained about someone crossing back and forth
in front of you before the show even started, one would surmise you might be more responsive to the annoying habits of yourself and find yourself an empty seat. Next time perhaps a matinee show where you can suck, suck, suck to your hearts content.

-Fiona