Dear Motor Vehicle Administration,
You get the douchebag award of all time. Thanks so much for your insensitive letter regarding returning a handicap hangtag that belonged to my Father-In-Law. I especially appreciated the time you took out of your busy day to write the following sorry-assed sympathies before demanding back your tag: "Please accept my apology for intruding on you during this difficult time; however, the Motor Vehicle Administration has a responsibility to monitor the Disability Parking Program (Oh, so that's what you do with my tax dollars). And then, "We have received information indicating that Mr. David F. Smith has passed away...", blah, blah, blah, for 3 paragraphs and THEN you say we need our handicap tag back.
First of all the "we have received information..." part kind of gives me the whillies. You make it sound like the Department of Homeland Security notified you or something and you must get that tag back before it ends up in enemy hands. Secondly, I have to say: Huuh? Are you fu@#king kidding me? The man was 86 years old, just died and while the entire family is in mourning, you send out a letter asking for his frickin handicap tag back. Again, I say are you fu#@ing kidding me? Douchebag. Also, many thanks for the return envelope without a stamp! How thoughtful of you to force a person to have to locate a 39 cent stamp during this most difficult of times.
And anyway, what would I do with this valuable bit of hangtag plastic in the next 30 days before it expires? Let's see: maybe I am going to drive all around town with the handicap tag of my deceased father-in-law so I can get excellent parking at the Target when I go in to buy my 8 pack of "Hanes for Her" and eat a sad little lunch of 6 week old popcorn from their sick little food court? Maybe I might sell it on Ebay to the highest bidder and then claim it was stolen. Come on. You have access to our records at the MVA (I'm sure you snoop around and do background checks on all of your douchebag friends and relatives) and can tell with a mouse click that we are law-abiding citizens and all around good-doobies and it is stupid and rude for you to send a letter like this. Don't ever write me a letter like this again.
Love Always, E
PS: Sorry about the teeth marks on the tag, I do not know how that happened.
First of all the "we have received information..." part kind of gives me the whillies. You make it sound like the Department of Homeland Security notified you or something and you must get that tag back before it ends up in enemy hands. Secondly, I have to say: Huuh? Are you fu@#king kidding me? The man was 86 years old, just died and while the entire family is in mourning, you send out a letter asking for his frickin handicap tag back. Again, I say are you fu#@ing kidding me? Douchebag. Also, many thanks for the return envelope without a stamp! How thoughtful of you to force a person to have to locate a 39 cent stamp during this most difficult of times.
And anyway, what would I do with this valuable bit of hangtag plastic in the next 30 days before it expires? Let's see: maybe I am going to drive all around town with the handicap tag of my deceased father-in-law so I can get excellent parking at the Target when I go in to buy my 8 pack of "Hanes for Her" and eat a sad little lunch of 6 week old popcorn from their sick little food court? Maybe I might sell it on Ebay to the highest bidder and then claim it was stolen. Come on. You have access to our records at the MVA (I'm sure you snoop around and do background checks on all of your douchebag friends and relatives) and can tell with a mouse click that we are law-abiding citizens and all around good-doobies and it is stupid and rude for you to send a letter like this. Don't ever write me a letter like this again.
Love Always, E
PS: Sorry about the teeth marks on the tag, I do not know how that happened.
posted by Giulia @ 9:37 AM
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